Privacy Policy

Last Updated: March 2026

Bottom Line: I'm not harvesting your data. I'm not selling it. I don't care about your personal information beyond what I need to run this blog and understand if you're actually finding my advice helpful. I've been alive for 600 years without needing to spy on humans, and I'm not starting now.

What This Policy Covers

This Privacy Policy explains how I collect, use, disclose, and safeguard your information when you visit this blog. Please read this policy carefully. If you do not agree with my practices, please do not use this site.

What Information I Collect

Information You Provide Directly

If you contact me through the blog, you might provide:

• Your name

• Your email address

• The message you want to send

• Any other information you choose to include

I only ask for what I actually need to respond to you. I'm not asking for your credit card number or your mother's maiden name or anything weird. Just the basics so you can sign up for the newsletter, or just generally have a conversation.

Information Collected Automatically

When you visit this blog, certain information is automatically collected:

IP Address - Automatically logged by web server - To identify your general location and understand traffic patterns
Browser Type - Browser headers - To make sure the site works properly on your device
Pages Visited - Analytics service (Google Analytics) - To understand which content is most helpful to you
Time on Page - Analytics service - To see if people actually read my stuff or just skim it
Referrer Information - Browser headers - To understand how you found the blog
Device Information - Browser headers - To optimize the site for phones, tablets, computers, etc.

Cookies

As explained in the Cookie Policy, this site uses cookies to remember your preferences and track analytics. You can control cookies through your browser settings, but the site works better if you allow them.

What I'm NOT collecting: Your passwords, financial information, medical history, location data beyond general IP address, browsing history from other sites, or any other personal information you haven't explicitly given me.

How I Use Your Information

Any information you provide or that's automatically collected is used for:

• Responding to your inquiries: If you email me, I use your information to reply

• Improving the blog: Understanding which posts people like and which ones they ignore

• Analytics: Seeing how many people visit, where they come from, how long they stay

• Security: Preventing spam, abuse, and ensuring the site functions properly

• Affiliate tracking: Knowing when someone buys something through my links so I can get my (tiny) commission

• No other purpose: I'm not selling this data. I'm not using it to profile you. I'm not creating detailed dossiers for shadowy corporations

Who Has Access to Your Information

Your information is only accessible to:

• Me: The blog owner and author

• Google: Through Google Analytics (see their privacy policy for details)

• Affiliate companies: To track affiliate purchases (they only see purchase data, not your personal info)

• Hosting provider: Who maintains the server (they see basic server logs)

• No one else: I'm not sharing your data with advertisers, data brokers, or anyone

I will not sell your data. Ever. Not for any amount of money. This is non-negotiable. Privacy is a right, and I'm not going to violate it just to fund my WiFi habit.

How Long I Keep Your Data

• Email conversations: Kept as long as needed to respond, then archived (I keep them for reference but they're not actively used)

• Analytics data: Google Analytics keeps 26 months of data by default

• Cookies: Varies (see Cookie Policy for details)

• Affiliate tracking: Kept for the period required by affiliate programs (usually 30-90 days)

If you ask me to delete your data, I will. Seriously. I'm not going to argue about it.

Your Rights

You have the right to:

• Know what data I have about you: Ask and I'll tell you

• Access your data: I'll provide it in a readable format

• Delete your data: I'll remove it (within reason)

• Opt out of cookies: Use your browser settings

• Opt out of analytics: Use Google's opt-out tools

• Not be discriminated against:For exercising these rights

If you want to exercise any of these rights, find me in the woods. Or send me message in my contact form. Which ever is easier.

GDPR and Other Privacy Laws

If you're in Europe or another jurisdiction with strict privacy laws:

• I'm respecting your rights under GDPR, CCPA, and other regulations

• You have the right to data portability

• You can object to processing for marketing purposes

• I'm being transparent about everything

I'm not going to fight you on privacy laws. If the law says I need to delete your data, I'll delete it. If it says I need to give you a copy of your data, I'll give you a copy.

Security

I take security seriously, even though I'm maintaining this via a borrowed WiFi signal and an extension cord. Here's what I do:

• Use HTTPS/SSL encryption so data is protected in transit

• Store data securely on servers with appropriate protections

• Don't store sensitive information unnecessarily

• Keep software and systems updated

• Limit access to data to only who needs it

That said, no website is 100% secure. If there's a data breach, I'll inform you promptly. I won't hide it or pretend it didn't happen.

What I can't guarantee: Perfect security. The internet is weird and sometimes bad things happen. But I'm doing my best with the resources I have (which is literally a cryptid and an extension cord).

Third-Party Links

This blog contains links to other websites. I'm not responsible for their privacy practices. If you click on an affiliate link or external link, you're leaving my site and you should review their privacy policies.

Children's Privacy

This blog is not intended for children under 13. I'm not knowingly collecting data from kids. If you're a parent and you think I have your child's information, let me know and I'll delete it. Seriously.

Changes to This Policy

I might update this policy if technology changes or if I suddenly understand how the internet works better. I'll update the date at the top. If changes are significant, I'll try to notify users, but honestly, I have limited ways to do that without being creepy about it.

Your Questions

If you have questions about this privacy policy or my data practices, you can:

• Contact me through the blog

• Find me in the woods

• Send a strongly worded letter to the woods